How I gained my testimony
I was 14 or 15 years old, in the summer. I read the Book of Mormon all the way through for the first time. At the end there is a challenge in the book: "And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost, ye may know the truth of all things." Moroni 10:4-5.
I knew the story of how Joseph Smith, Jr. at age 14 had gone into the woods to pray aloud for the very first time. He read James 1:5 and thought, “I lack wisdom. I will ask God, and He will answer.”
His purpose in asking was to know which church to join. There were several churches competing for converts in his area, all of whom claimed to follow the Bible. None of them agreed on how to interpret the Bible’s words. On top of this, they fought with each other over it and turned against anyone who didn’t join whichever church they were currently in. It didn’t feel Christ-like.
I was entering high school. People frequently asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, or what I wanted to study. I had to choose my own class schedule. I needed to know: should I commit to this church, the one my parents raised me in, or not? It mattered a lot, because there’s a script for growing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It includes attending seminary classes for the four years of high school, followed by a church mission, followed by further education and marriage in the temple. There’s no condemnation if your life doesn’t follow this script, but it’s what is taught and expected. If you commit to the church, expect to have a calling in the church all the time, some task to perform every week or some class to teach. There’s also an expectation that when someone needs help, you show up and help: move boxes, clean house, bring meals, repair things, do yardwork. There are people you are expected to keep in contact with, to help strengthen their faith and your own faith, by reminding them, and yourself, of God’s love and concern, then showing His love by showing up consistently to help and comfort. It’s a large commitment that would change the trajectory of my life.
So I did as instructed: I read the Book of Mormon all the way through, and then I prayed about it. I kept going to church, reading the scriptures daily, and I prayed some more. This went on for three or four months. At last, with a warm, secure feeling, God told me in my heart, “You already know.” I did. I do know. This is where I’m supposed to be. This is the truth: God lives. God loves me. God loves you, all of you. God speaks to men on earth today, and He speaks to me through the power of the Holy Ghost. He answered my question then, and He answers my questions now, forty years later. I feel His love. I want to share it with you.
