Just that: Hug.

There was conflict yesterday. My daughter and I misunderstood each other, and while we both love each other, this is something we’ve run up against many times. I don’t comprehend the underlying assumptions she’s making, and I strongly suspect she doesn’t comprehend my underlying assumptions.

Part of the reason I think so, is because after we both went into our respective homes, I sent her a text explaining, and she sent me a text saying that she could see that I had missed her point. She said she wasn’t sure I was ever going to understand her point of view, and questioned whether she wanted to keep trying to engage with me. At that point I stopped and simply texted, “Hug.”

Her response was, “No! That will not fix this. I love you, but no,” and told me not to contact her.

I’m sad about it, not just because she doesn’t want to talk to me, not just because she’s angry at me, not just because I felt hurt in the course of the conflict. I’m sad because…

When I said, “Hug,” I wasn’t trying to “fix this.” I was trying to say, “I love you, I care about you, I feel for you.”

I’m sorry. I think I’ve been misunderstood, in a way that I can’t fix, because we’re not coming at this relationship from the same angles. I’m not trying to win. I’m trying to keep good boundaries; part of the conflict was in discussion of my health, my weight, and what I’m doing about it. She thinks I’m not doing enough, I guess; at least, that’s what I gather. What did I miss? I don’t know.